The Tale of the Freds
by Spool the Pink Dalek
Summary: By some freak accident, people from the present world are being transported into the Hidden Leaf village! By some chance, they are all named Fred! What will happen to all these Freds? What will the ninjas think about it? Who cares? Why don't you find out?
1. The First Fred

It was a normal day in the Hidden Leaf Village. The birds were chirping, the leaves were hidden, and the ninjas were running around and acting ridiculously pompous. Naruto and Chouji were fighting over a bowl of ramen, Sasuke was sulking (as usual), Gaara was running around being psychopathic, Kakashi was reading Ichi-Ichi Paradise, and Sakura was…well…being Sakura. Just a normal day.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the bowl of ramen Naruto and Chouji were fighting over was knocked out of their hands. It flew into the air and landed on Sasuke's head. Sasuke screamed, reminding several of the surrounding people of a five-year-old girl, and ran blindly around in circles. He ran into Gaara, who punched him in the face, which incited the wrath of Sakura, causing her to step on Kakashi in the process of trying to kill Gaara. Kakashi yelled in pain, and the book flew out of his hand, hitting Chouji on the head and knocking him out immediately. After several fist fights and sandstorms, everyone finally calmed down enough to realized that there was somebody new among them.

It was a short, pale boy with a leaf headband tied around his neck. He had brown eyes and dirty blonde hair. A picture of Naruto himself was emblazoned on his cotton t-shirt.

"Why does he have a picture of Naruto on his shirt?" Gaara hissed to Sasuke, who had two black eyes and a bloody nose.

"I don't know, but it's creepy." Sasuke whispered back.

The boy, whose name just happened to be Fred, realized that everyone was looking at him. He had been in the midst of watching the hundredth episode of Naruto (for the seven hundred and ninety fourth time) while reading Naruto #11 (for the five hundred and sixty second time) when, with no warning, he had been a spectator to a bunch of screaming people in ninja headbands.

"Who are _you_?" Chouji asked, and pointed a chubby finger at Fred. "And why do you have Naruto on your shirt?"

"Yeah!" Naruto screamed, and jumped up and down. He was missing two teeth and was still spitting out sand. "That's just weird!"

"Oh my gosh!" Fred said. "You guys are the Naruto people!"

"No! I'm Naruto! We're not all Naruto! That's Sasuke, that's Gaara, that's Chouji, that's Kakashi, and the dead one is Sakura." Naruto screeched.

"Sakura is dead?" Fred asked, a little disappointed.

"Yes. She attacked Gaara." Sasuke explained, regaining his cool (which looked really funny, since he had two black eyes) Fred was amazed. "Whoa! I just saw Gaara kill someone! I love that!"

"What?" Gaara asked, dumbstruck. "You…"

"I love it when you kill people! It's awesome!" Fred yelled. "This is better than the show!"

"Show?" Gaara asked, looking completely lost. "What show?"

"The show! You guys are all on it!"

"Ack! You _are _a stalker!" Naruto shrieked. "Kill him, Gaara! Kill him!"

"Yay! I'm about to be killed by Gaara! I love you, Gaara!" Fred yelled.

"No! Nooooo!" Gaara yelled, and wrenched his face in pain. "The love…it burns! Aaag! I'm meeeeltiinnng…." And then Gaara melted, leaving a puddle of greenish goo.

"Now, _that _was freaky." Kakashi said, finally looking up from the nap he had been taking after the fight.

"This guy is _really _powerful! Call the Hokage!" Sasuke screamed, and ran away. Fred was flattered. "This is awesome!"

Then, Gaara's raccoon demon broke free and killed Fred.

THE END


	2. The Second Fred

Everyone had pretty much recovered from the Fred incident, including Gaara, who, as it turned out, wasn't dead, but still a puddle. Nobody really cared about Sakura. Life returned to normal and everyone forgot Fred. A new holiday was established- Ninja Opposite day.

Sasuke was trying his hardest to be emotional and peppy, while Naruto was really trying to be less irritating. Chouji was fasting and Sakura was still dead. Gaara was puddling around trying to be cheerful and helpful, which was difficult because he had no arms.

All of a sudden, in a poof of light, a kid in an Itachi-style cape appeared smack-dab in the middle of Puddle-Gaara. Little known to the characters of Naruto, but he had been in the middle of filming a live Naruto-based Youtube clip, and he was supposed to be Itachi. And, coincidentally, his name was Fred.

"Like, OMG, some guy that, like, totally looks like Itachi is standing on my head!" Puddle-Gaara said in a squeaky, high pitched voice.

"Believe it…I mean, um, yeah." Naruto said.

"So…hungry…" Chouji groaned. "Haven't eaten…in…three seconds…"

Sakura said nothing. She was dead.

Despite his ultimate hatred for his brother, Sasuke had decided to enjoy opposite day. "Itachi! I love you!" he said, and hugged Fred (and stepped on Puddle-Gaara in the process).

"No, Joe," Fred hissed. "You're supposed to kill me. It's in the script."

"It is?" Sasuke asked, and stopped hugging Itachi-Fred. "Really?"

"Yes. Okay, kill me now." Fred said. "Action!"

Sasuke blinked, shrugged, and immediately proceeded to beat the snot out of Fred.

"NOT FOR REAL, YOU SOD!" Fred screamed. "Stop hitting me!"

"But you told me to kill you." Sasuke said. "Get it right, Itachi."

"I'm not Itachi! I'm FRED!" Fred yelled.

Then, out of nowhere, Itachi appeared. "Hey, that guy is impersonating me!" he yelled, enraged. "What are you doing in my cape?"

"What is going ON here?" Fred screamed.

"Aha! Stalker! Stalker! Kill him!" Naruto yelled, and pointed at Fred.

"Wait, I can actually kill him?" Sasuke and Itachi asked in unison, dumbfounded.

"YES! YES!" Naruto shrieked.

Puddle Gaara giggled like a middle-school gossip. Chouji passed out from hunger and Sakura was still dead.

"Oookay…" Sasuke said.

"Aaa!" Fred yelled, and ran away. Everybody watched him go.

"Will he be okay?" Itachi whispered to Sasuke.

"I know you won't!" Sasuke yelled, and immediately punched Itachi in the face.

"Yep. Same ol same ol." Sakura said.

"Weren't you dead?" Puddle-Gaara asked.

"Yes." Sakura said.

"Oh. Okay." Puddle-Gaara said. "That's weird."

THE END


End file.
